You are not on my website.
We're at a dive bar called About Me. First round’s on me, buddy. Take a seat, let me tell you my story.
My dad comes from Midwestern carpenters and electricians. Mom, from immigrant doctors and engineers. 

Somehow, I found copywriting. And in my young career, I've worked for well-known stuff like Steve Harvey, Kevin Hart's Laugh Out Loud, For Dummies Books, Mazda North America, sort of well-known stuff like Indiana Tourism, Indiana State Department of Health, and not well-known stuff like gas stations, oral surgeon practices, port-a-potty wholesalers, hotel providers, and a community theater.

I also had the benefit of making fake ads for two years at VCU Brandcenter.

We order the second round. I start slurring out the fast facts:

-My first jobs as a janitor + McDonald's cashier built my backbone and bought my first car
-For most of my life, a toothpick's been stuck in one of my heels
-I studied Journalism + Linguistics in college, pursuing neither, yet using them each day
-Die-hard La Liga fan (budding MLS fan)
-I'm into languages, accents, geography and staring at maps
-I can turn anything in your fridge into a delicious taco (that is a challenge)
-I've written for two Breaking Bad cast members (Jonathan Banks + Aaron Paul)
-My work has won some local ADDYs
-My work has not won a One Show 
-I speak Spanish, and fake Korean

Third round here in LA? I'm faking all the Korean I don't know.