Thank god for people like Kenji Kawasaki, the godfather of chindōgu (unless inventions), and the person that invented the ketchup packet you can squeeze and/or dunk your nugs in. Below are the products, games and ideas inspired by those minds that nobody asked for.
Desktop inflatable tubeman
Textiles + laptop-grade fan + USB power source = you, the most interesting person at the office.
"That was fake but a cool idea you should make it." - @jacobs4550, YouTube commenter
"I would pay good money TODAY for a desktop inflatable man." - Rick Webb, co-founder of The Barbarian Group
High Toes
They're like high heels, but for toes. The footwear game is about to change, leaning fashion-forward on its toes. Featured on Betabrand, a community crowd-sourcing fashion platform.
The high-toe sneaker was requested by the Design Director at Betabrand after seeing the original High Toes.
The link is dead today, but the comment section on Betabrand started some fiery conversation. Some selects:
"So stupid that it might actually sell just for shits and giggles." - @cautiouslego
"I feel like I laughed a lot more than I should have." - @Gabridge
"Please tell me they're a joke?" - @two_sheds
"Stick to copywriting, shoe design is obviously not your thing." - Scott W
"This is not fashion, it's stupidity." - Stacy N
"I am a woman and I would wear these. I don't wear regular heels, but these seem more comfortable." - Julia Marino
Manet's Mayonnaise
Sound it out. "M a n e t ' s... m a y o n n a i s e ." Combining French Impressionist paintings with tangy Middle American condiments. Now we can all class up our seven layer salads.
ZZZVR sleeping mask
Introducing ZZZVR. The first ever virtual reality: the subconscious. it's literally just a sleeping mask... shaped like a VR headset.
Submission for the Young Shits award show.
Art Director: Andrew Jones
Now, an intermission!
~ If you've made it this far, you either have plenty of time and/or appreciate this kind of stuff. Anyway, as we move on from products to apps, let's remember the words of Plato: "Necessity is the mother of invention." Now forget that and repeat after me: Uselessness is the cool uncle of invention. ~
Halloween Costume Helper
If you don't know what to be for Halloween, and you don't want to be a sexy cat again, you can use this online generator (well, not anymore, I let the hosting expire. You can only finance a joke for so long). Except it only gives one suggestion: ghost.
When you visit iDontKnowWhatToBeForHalloween.com, you simply enter the everyday items you already own, and it will tell you what costumes you can make out of all the combinations of them. Except it won't. Because after hitting enter, it will ask you if you have a white sheet. When you invariably click "yes", it will only suggest that you can be a ghost. You're welcome, and sorry.
The year I made this dumb website, I was a walking billboard leading up to Halloween.
The Shy Pot
A watched pot never boils, so says the idiom. Probably because it gets performance anxiety. So I made a game to help you stop watching the pot and pass the time while you boil water for your next meal. Your front-facing camera tracks your eye movement only allowing the pot to boil when you aren't staring at it.
Domain Graveyard
I used to buy domains to carve out virtual real estate where I could park my dumb ideas. I no longer own most of these, so they're up for grabs if you like throwing money away.
nonfunginfibletokenminority.com an NFT for token minorities, cardibcardio.com AI-generated music videos of Cardi B working out to her music, codeofdress.com a side project for a guidebook on the uniform for the made-up cult started by Tide Dry Cleaners, glutenfreefields.com just images of corn fields, hornyforads.com a catalog of ads for all the ad nerds crazy about ads, salvadordaliparton.com Dali visualizers set to Dolly Parton songs, thegreatgaginthesky.com skywriting airplanes writing jokes in the sky set dramatically to Pink Floyd's 'The Great Gig in the Sky', ute-r-us.com in Australia, pickup trucks are called 'utes' (short for utility trucks... also unofficially short for uterus). This would've been a site hosting space for trucks for women's reproductive rights. americangunreform.com this one was not a joke, I was just sitting on it. budlightsaber.com the next Star Wars movie... brought to you by Bud Light. contentdestroyer.com with so many content creators, the world could use some heroes to rid the internet of all the junk. inflatableairquotes.com you can buy balloons for your party to spell out things like HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, but there isn't much by way of punctuation. So I filled that need for all the people that want to "HAPPY" 1ST BIRTHDAY. leasttrending.com the answer to all the websites that only show you the most trending articles, memes, ideas and photos. This website shows you the overlooked content that is gaining zero traction. manetsmayonnaise.com hosting space for the fake mayonnaise brand. notanotherwhitewriter.com copywriting and DEI don't really gel. This redirected to my portfolio. predickaments.com a fake brand of mints to freshen your breath when you're in a bind. theshypot.com hosting space for the fake game. vapeandyoga.com you can do hot yoga, goat yoga and aerial yoga. This horrible style of yoga focuses on flavoring your breath. allcapscaps.com a fake brand that was almost a real brand for hats with capitalized messages. adasiancy.com an emphasis on my Asian culture influencing my creative outlook, it redirected to my portfolio. spot-ify.com whereas Spotify provides music with paid ads interrupting in between, Spot-ify serves you ads (radio spots) with interrupting music in between. hululemon.com the Hulu x Lululemon athleisure collaboration... a pair of smart yoga pants that let you control what you binge from the comfort of your couch.